Sorry about the long absence.

Y'know, Christmas and all that nonsense.

"They don't need to act, they need to be."

From Shadow of the Vampire (2000). In this scene the director,

Dr. Murnau, is referring to the extras he picked, who were just random people in a pub in eastern Europe..

"What's the difference between a human and a lump of rotting meat? About one week."

To be perfectly honest, I don't know what book this is from, I think it's from a Kurt Vonnegut book, but I'm not sure which one. I wrote this quote down a while ago and just sort of abandoned it. I'm putting it up though, because it made me laugh a little.

"That's the most intelligent use of three wishes I ever heard of,"

"'That's the most intelligent use of three wishes I ever heard of,' he told the bird. 'You made sure you'd still have something worth wishing for- to get out of the cage'"

Another quote from a Kurt Vonnegut novel, this time from Breakfast of Champions. Unfortunately I don't have a lot to say about this one.

"I was a failure- I was a failure and I get very sad and depressed about it..."

This is from American Movie. It's a documentary about a guy who has devoted his life to making films. It's a fascinating film for any aspiring filmmakers out there. It's a fascinating film for anyone looking for the American dream. This movie carries every imaginable facet of modern America. As long as America has alcoholics, movies, divorce, family values, friends and the right to pursue your dreams, this movie will be relevant.

"quotation of excerpts in a review or criticism for purposes of illustration or comment..."

"The 1961 Report of the Register of Copyrights on the General Revision of the U.S. Copyright Law cites examples of activities that courts have regarded as fair use: 'quotation of excerpts in a review or criticism for purposes of illustration or comment; quotation of short passages in a scholarly or technical work, for illustration or clarification of the author’s observations; use in a parody of some of the content of the work parodied; summary of an address or article, with brief quotations, in a news report; reproduction by a library of a portion of a work to replace part of a damaged copy; reproduction by a teacher or student of a small part of a work to illustrate a lesson; reproduction of a work in legislative or judicial proceedings or reports; incidental and fortuitous reproduction, in a newsreel or broadcast, of a work located in the scene of an event being reported.'"
http://www.copyright.gov/fls/fl102.html

So, I decided I'd start posting clips I edited out myself instead of trying to find them online. That didn't work out so well. Apparently I'm violating U.S. copyright laws and this doesn't qualify as 'fair use.' How does posting 1:30 long clips not qualify under 'fair use' laws? This is free promotion Universal Studio's lawyers, I suggest you take advantage of it.

"The loneliest part of the book comes... when the man accidentally sees Dracula setting his table."

[Referring to the novel, Dracula]
Max Schreck: It made me sad.
Albin: Why sad?

Max Schreck: Because Dracula had no servants.

Albin: I think you missed the point of the book, Count Orlock.

Max Schreck: Dracula hasn't had servants in 400 years and then a man comes to his ancestral home, and he must convince him that he... that he is like the man. He has to feed him, when he himself hasn't eaten food in centuries. Can he even remember how to buy bread? How to select cheese and wine? And then he remembers the rest of it. How to prepare a meal, how to make a bed. He remembers his first glory, his armies, his retainers, and what he is reduced to. The loneliest part of the book comes... when the man accidentally sees Dracula setting his table.

This movie is perfect. period. this is the kind of movie that you sit in front of the TV, totally dumbfounded, long after the credits roll. The movie in question is Shadow of the Vampire. It's about the filming of Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens. However, there's a twist; the director, Mernau (played by John Malkovich), hires an actual vampire (played by Willem Dafoe). My expectations were really high for this movie and it still blew me away. Everyone reading this has to go and humt down this movie immediately.

EDIT:

OK. apparently if I keep the videos short enough, Universal's lawyers don't care.

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

This is from Carl Sagan's documentary series; Cosmos, which is scientifically proven to double your IQ if you watch the whole thing. This particular quote has been remixed by an amature DJ who calls him\herself Melody Sheep using an audio effect called auto-tune.

"I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire, don't touch me I'm a real live wire."

This was discussed on my facebook status, so I wanted to post it. Psycho Killer is easily one of my most loved songs, how can you not sing along? This song exemplifies how good the Talking Heads are at putting things into words in a way that makes you go "wow that sounds really neat"

"The pump don't work cause the vandals took the handles."

This one's from Subterranean Homesick Blues by Bob Dylan. Mathias had to know this was coming when he asked me to be a guest writer.
Pretty much every line from this song makes me chuckle, its also famous for the music video in which Bob holds up a series of notecards with words different from the lyrics. I'm not as tech savvy as Mathias so I don't know how to add a youtube video, but I think all here know what video I'm speaking of.
I also like the line "You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows" from the same song.

EDIT:

I kept the video part of this music video intact since it's relevant.

-Mathias

"'Like hell it is.' I took it off and looked at it. I sort of closed one eye, like I was taking aim at it. 'This is a people shooting hat,'"

Oh, except for this one from Catcher in the Rye. this one I'm posting.

No quotes this weekend, sorry.

I just have too much work to do.

"Usually a pale creepy guy staring at you from across the dining area just means you're eating at Denny's."

This is a joke from the Rifftrax version of Twilight. If you don't know what Rifftrax (more famously known as Mystery Science Theater 3000) is, it's basically an audio commentary for a [usually bad] movie. The people doing the commentary spend the whole movie just making fun of everything going on on screen. If you're one of those people who really hates it when people talk during movies (even really bad ones), than this isn't for you; otherwise, you should definitely check this out.

"Fabulous. University education, you can't beat it."

This is from a forgotten gem of the world of British comedy called Blackadder. In fact, it was where quite a few famous comedians got their start, including: Stephen Fry, Hugh Lauri, and Rowan Atkinson.

"I tried to talk with God to no avail calling Him in and out of nowhere said if You won't save me, please don't waste my time."

This is a quote from the song Falling Down, by Oasis. Jamie D. recommended that I put a quote from Noel Gallagher up. Since this is the only song of theirs I listen to, I thought it would be a good pick.