Irony in its most potent form:

"Main Entry: catholic

Part of Speech: adjective

Definition: all-embracing, general

Synonyms: all-inclusive, broad-minded, charitable, comprehensive, cosmic, cosmopolitan, diffuse, eclectic, ecumenical, extensive, generic, global, inclusive, indeterminate, large-scale, liberal, open-minded, planetary, receptive, tolerant, unbigoted, universal, unprejudiced, unsectarian, whole, wide, world-wide

Notes: Catholic means of or relating to or supporting the Roman Catholic Church while catholic means of broad or liberal

Antonyms: narrow, narrow-minded, specific"

Or maybe I'm just stupid for not knowing the dictionary definition of catholic...

"Most auctions don't have smack talk."

I could explain this quote, but it's funnier out of context. The quote was spoken by Graham Stark of Loading Ready Run fame.

"quotation of excerpts in a review or criticism for purposes of illustration or comment..."

"The 1961 Report of the Register of Copyrights on the General Revision of the U.S. Copyright Law cites examples of activities that courts have regarded as fair use: 'quotation of excerpts in a review or criticism for purposes of illustration or comment; quotation of short passages in a scholarly or technical work, for illustration or clarification of the author’s observations; use in a parody of some of the content of the work parodied; summary of an address or article, with brief quotations, in a news report; reproduction by a library of a portion of a work to replace part of a damaged copy; reproduction by a teacher or student of a small part of a work to illustrate a lesson; reproduction of a work in legislative or judicial proceedings or reports; incidental and fortuitous reproduction, in a newsreel or broadcast, of a work located in the scene of an event being reported.'"
http://www.copyright.gov/fls/fl102.html

So, I decided I'd start posting clips I edited out myself instead of trying to find them online. That didn't work out so well. Apparently I'm violating U.S. copyright laws and this doesn't qualify as 'fair use.' How does posting 1:30 long clips not qualify under 'fair use' laws? This is free promotion Universal Studio's lawyers, I suggest you take advantage of it.

"Usually a pale creepy guy staring at you from across the dining area just means you're eating at Denny's."

This is a joke from the Rifftrax version of Twilight. If you don't know what Rifftrax (more famously known as Mystery Science Theater 3000) is, it's basically an audio commentary for a [usually bad] movie. The people doing the commentary spend the whole movie just making fun of everything going on on screen. If you're one of those people who really hates it when people talk during movies (even really bad ones), than this isn't for you; otherwise, you should definitely check this out.

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

This is the caption on one of those demotivational posters from Despair Inc. that i saw a while back. I'm not entirely sure why but this quote has stuck with me for a downright staggering amount of time. I'd say there's a high likelihood that it will be my epitaph.